Father or father?

I will honestly admit that I have spent countless hours contemplating this question for myself, in prayer, before the blessed sacrament, at religious conferences, and lying awake in bed. As I would suspect most devout young Catholic men have (at least, those of the Roman rite, for whom the two options are mutually exclusive). Countless times I have been told by others that I would ‘make a good priest’. And nearly every young Catholic male I’ve talked to who has attended a daily Mass has had the same line told to him. Ignoring my own frustrations with this dilemma, I would instead like to contemplate the characteristics of this question. That is to say, what makes a good F/father?

Most parishioners would be happy to tell you what they like about their particular pastor: that he gives good homilies; that he’s always been there for them when times were dark for their family; that he offered a warm, but firm, guiding hand when their children wandered from their faith. And then there are the things the Church requires of him: that he know and teach her precepts, with firmness and yet with charity; that he live in humility, obedience, and service; that he chastise the sinner and lift up the lowly, serve the poor and the outcast; that he live a model Christian life for the good and guidance of the flock whose care he has been given.

Then there are the unspoken concerns: a desire that the priest be a man that their sons might look up to; that he is a rock, steady wherever the winds of the age may blow; that he is, in essence, a man for all seasons. This is the kind of person that makes a good Father.

So what makes a good father, then? Perhaps one who effectively instructs his children; who is there for them when they need support; who offers his children a warm, but firm, guiding hand when they wander. He is a man who lives his faith as the Church asks of him: instructing his children in Her precepts, with firmness and charity; living in humility, loving his wife and serving his family and community; willing to instruct the ignorant and lend a hand to those who are less well off; living a model Christian life. A man his sons will look up to; a rock steadying his family; a man for all seasons.

Now hopefully by this point the parallel has been made clear. The difference between a man who will be a good father and man who will be a good Father is not one of his demeanor, nor something that is obvious externally. The difference is in his vocation. This is something which no one else can tease out for him, no matter how they may wish to, but something he must discern for himself. That is not to say that this decision is easy for him, there are a thousand voices in this world crying out for ones attention, and the still small voice is hard to hear amidst such a cacophony, but it is his to listen for.

It is remarkable to me how obvious, and yet ignored this conclusion seems to be (I myself only came to it recently). And it frightens me to think what would happen if every man who fit these criteria were persuaded to follow the path to priesthood, no matter his true vocation. No doubt there would be less of a shortage of Fathers, but who would father our children to follow after?